I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
