i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
