I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
