I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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