Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
