Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
