but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
