I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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