i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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