There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you win again, gameday.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
