Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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