i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
