who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
