I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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