She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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