Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
