I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Randomize
