I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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