I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
