ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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