Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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