ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
