Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
