His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Farmville is her only friend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
