Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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