I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
