I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
