can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
