Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
