I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wish i was in the wii world.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
