people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
