How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
