Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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