I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
