I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
