Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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