I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
