i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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