mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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