her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's the barista slut.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
