There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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