I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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