then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
