Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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