the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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