i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
