Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
