So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
