people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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