i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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