I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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