thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
